When a Death Occurs

When a loved one passes away, the many tasks that are necessary can be very overwhelming. Below are some common questions that families have when they begin the process of arranging a funeral. If your question or concern is not addressed here, please contact the funeral home directly.

Who should I notify?
The first phone calls made upon news of a death will depend on the circumstances. When someone dies in a hospital or other medical care facility, the staff will usually take care of some of the arrangements, such as contacting your funeral home of choice and, if necessary, arranging an autopsy.

You will need to notify family, friends and clergy. It may be easier on you to make just a few phone calls to close relatives and ask them to inform specific people so the burden of spreading news does not rest entirely on you. If you are alone, don’t be afraid to ask someone to keep you company as you make the first phone calls and cope with the first hours after the death.

If a person dies at home or at work, the first call must be made to 911. Any unexpected death occurring without a physician or medical personnal present must be reported to the police and an investigation held. The coroner will examine the body then arrange for it to be transported to the morgue for autopsy (if necessary) or to the funeral home.

If your loved one was currently receiving medical care, be sure to notify the doctor. If your loved one was in hospice care, it is not necessary to call 911. You can call the hospice facility directly.

You’ll also need to notify…

The funeral home. A funeral director can help arrange transportation of the body to the funeral home, begin collecting information for the death certificate and obituary, help you notify other parties such as Social Security, and provide grief support.

The employer. If the deceased was working, the employer must be notified as soon as possible. Ask about any benefits the deceased was receiving or will receive, including any pay due (including vacation or sick time), disability income, etc. Ask if you or other dependents are still elegible for benefit coverage through the company. Determine whether there is a life insurance policy through the employer, who the beneficiary is, and how to file a claim.

The life insurance company. Look through the deceased’s important papers for a life policy. Call the agent or company to determine how to file a claim. Usually the beneficiary (or the beneficiary’s guardian, if a minor) myst complete the claim forms and related paperwork. You’ll need to submit a certified death certificate and a claimant’s statement to establish proof of claim. Ask about payment options. You may have a choice between receiving a lump sum or having the company place the money in an interest-bearing account from which you can write checks.

Other organizations. Usually the funeral home will contact Social Security and the Veterans Administration (if applicable) on your behalf. You will want to contact any unions, professional or service organizations, or fraternal organizations of which your loved one was a member. He or she may have had life insurance or other benefits through these organizations.

The court. If you were named executor of your loved one’s will, you’ll need to file a probate case with the court. An attorney is not required, but it may help you to hire one that is experienced in probate. As executor, you’ll be responsible for carrying out your loved one’s wishes according to the will, paying creditors and balancing the estate. There is no standard time for probate, and it can be complicated and lengthy.

The bank. If you have a joint account with the deceased, you may be able to conduct business as usual depending on how the account was opened. Otherwise, usually only the will’s executor or administrator can access the account after providing the required paperwork to the bank. You will need to contact your bank to determine their requirements.

What information should I bring to the arrangement conference?
When you first call the funeral home, you will probably answer a few general questions about funeral plans–some vital statistics about the deceased, whether there was a prearrangement or a will, the decedent’s or family’s preference for burial or cremation, and possibly your thoughts on what services you’d like to hold. Plans will be finalized when you meet with the funeral director. The following list does not include everything, but it is a general list of things you may want to bring with you to the arrangement conference.

  • Vital information about the decedent–date and place of birth and death, parents’ names, names of pre-deceased relatives and survivors, Social Security number, dates of marriages/divorces
  • Highest level of education
  • Occupation
  • Military information including separation or discharge papers (DD-214), if the deceased was a veteran
  • Any information related to a pre-arrangement, if applicable
  • Place of burial or final disposition if a cemetery plot has been purchased
  • Photographs–one or two recent photographs will be used during the embalming and cosmetizing process
  • Names and phone numbers of clergy or celebrants you wish to involve in the ceremonies
  • Clothing, including undergarments and jewelry or glasses you would like the deceased to be viewed wearing
  • Records of life insurance policies

Who should come with me to the arrangement conference?
If you are the only next-of-kin, do not feel like you need to make all the arrangements alone. Families often come to the arrangement conference in groups for moral support and to participate in the funeral experience.

What if there was a pre-arrangement?
If your loved one made a pre-arrangement with our funeral home, we’ll have that information on file here for you. We will use the time in the arrangement conference to go over any details that were not yet planned for.

If your loved one pre-arranged their funeral with another funeral home and you wish to transfer that arrangement to us, please let us know as soon as possible. If the funeral has been pre-paid at another funeral home, we can transfer those funds to our funeral home to make sure your loved one’s wishes are fulfilled.

What if the death occurred away from home?
If a death occurs away from home, contact us first. We will find a local funeral home near the place of death and arrange for preparation and transportation of the remains back to our funeral home on your behalf. We can also help coordinate with the other funeral home if you are planning to have a service prior to having the family member returned to your home area.

What if there is no will?
Dying intestate–dying without a will–means that a probate judge will appoint an administrator of the deceased’s estate. If you are chosen as the administrator, your responsibilities will be similar to those of an executor of a will: distributing assets, paying creditors and balancing the estate.

Many people assume that upon a person’s death, all assets will immediately go to the spouse. If there is no will, this is not always the case. Most states will divide assets between the surviving spouse and any children, regardless of the children’s ages. If there are no children, some assets may be granted to the parents of the deceased. In the case of a single person with children, the entire estate will be split among them. When a person is single with no children, the estate may be granted to the parents (or siblings, if parents are deceased).

It is important to remember that state probate laws vary, and individual situations may be taken into account in probate court when decisions are made to distribute the deceased’s assets. If you have any questions or concerns, you may want to consult an attorney that is experienced in end-of-life planning and probate.

My loved one was a veteran. What benefits can he or she receive?
Benefits are available to veterans whether they are interred in a national cemetery or a private cemetery. If your loved one will be laid to rest in a national cemetery, benefits include a gravesite in any national cemetery with open space, fees for opening and closing of the grave, a government headstone or marker, a flag, and a Presidential Memorial Certificate at no cost to the family. If the veteran will be buried in a private cemetery, he or she is eligible for a government headstone or marker, a flag, and a Presidential Memorial Certificate. In some circumstances, he or she may be eligible for a burial allowance. To determine exactly what benefits your loved one will receive, contact the Veterans Administration directly or visit their website here.

Common Questions about Funeral Service

Many people have questions that they may or may not feel comfortable asking their funeral director. We hope this will be of some help to you. If you think of something else you would like us to add to this list of questions, please contact the funeral home directly.

What do we do if our family death occurs away from home?
Our funeral home staff will arrange with another funeral home or mortuary, where the death occurred, to have preparation and transportation made back to our funeral home. We can also help you if you are planning to have a service prior to having the family member returned to your home area.

Why is a funeral important?
For thousands of years, funerals have allowed survivors to express their feelings about the death of someone they love. The rituals provide comfort when things seem chaotic and out of control. The funeral is for expressing intense grief. For many, a visitation followed by a funeral or memorial service is the first step in the grieving process. It is a time when friends, family and other guests can come together to grieve openly and to support one another in a community environment. It is also a time to say good-bye. Viewing the deceased can bring a sense of closure to the bereaved who may be in shock and denial.

What does a funeral director do?

  • Pick up the deceased and transport the body to the funeral home (anytime day or night)
  • Notify proper authorities, family and/or relatives
  • Arrange and prepare death certificates
  • Provide certified copies of death certificates for insurance and benefit processing
  • Work with the insurance agent, Social Security or Veterans Administration to ensure that necessary paperwork is filed for receipt of benefits
  • Prepare and submit obituary to the newspapers of your choice
  • Bathe and embalm the deceased body, if necessary
  • Prepare the body for viewing including dressing and cosmetizing
  • Assist the family with funeral arrangements and purchase of casket, urn, burial vault and cemetery plot
  • Schedule the opening and closing of the grave with cemetery personnel, if a burial is to be performed
  • Coordinate with clergy if a funeral or memorial service is to be held
  • Arrange a police escort and transportation to the funeral and/or cemetery for the family
  • Order funeral sprays and other flower arrangements as the family wishes
  • Provide Aftercare, or grief assistance, to the bereaved

What is embalming?
It is a process that sanitizes and preserves a dead body. It delays the decomposition process and allows time for viewing and services by the family prior to burial or cremation. It restores a life-like appearance to the body and can enhance the appearance of a body that has undergone a traumatic death or illness. This process can take anywhere from one to three hours to perform. The time spent embalming depends upon the severity of damage to the body, whether it be from traumatic injuries and or by not being able to perform it immediately after notification of the death.

Is embalming required when a person dies?
No. However, most states insist on embalming under certain circumstances such as when the death is caused by a contagious disease or if final disposition isn’t made within a certain time frame. Embalming preserves the body, often allowing more time for arrangements. It is required if there will be a visitation. If the deceased is to be directly buried or cremated, embalming is not necessary.

How can I personalize a funeral service?
A funeral service can be personalized in a number of ways. Every funeral should be as unique as the life being celebrated. Ideas for a special service are always welcome in our funeral home.

Many families add a personal touch to the funeral service by incorporating memorabilia that represent a loved one’s hobbies or passions. For the avid sports fan, a few of his or her collector’s items could be displayed. For the artist, a display of recent works or even the artist’s tools can provide a personal touch. Some families take it a step further, such as providing homemade chocolate chip cookies for funeral attendees who knew the deceased as a skilled cook. These unique touches can help family and friends remember the deceased’s personality and relive the traditions that meant so much. Photo albums and memorial tribute DVDs are also great ways to remember the past.

Personalized merchandise is also popular. Some caskets include interchangeable corners, and you may choose corners that represent the life of your loved one. Caskets can also be personalized with an embroidered panel. Cremation urns and keepsakes can be engraved. The funeral home also offers a wide variety of other merchandise such as keepsake jewelry and stationery products that can reflect the life of your loved one.

Today, it is becoming more popular to hold unique services outside of the funeral home. Churches are always a warm and comforting place for a funeral service. Memorial services can take place nearly anywhere–in your home, in a local park, or even at a sporting event. A funeral director is also an event planner. Whatever your preferences or ideas may be, we can work to help you create a memorable and meaningful tribute.

What is a viewing/visitation/wake?
Depending on the area of the country in which you live or your religious tradition, viewing, visitation and wake are generally synonymous terms for an informal gathering that precedes the funeral. Traditionally, it takes place the day before the funeral, but many families today will hold same-day visitation and funeral services. Often, the deceased is embalmed and in an open casket, but the casket may be closed or not present at all. This ceremony is an informal time for family, friends and colleagues of the deceased to stop by and offer condolences to the bereaved and socialize with others.

A visitation typically lasts for several hours, allowing people to drop in and depart as they wish. It is not necessary to remain for the entire time, and guests may feel comfortable leaving after offering words of support to the bereaved. It is customary, upon arriving at the visitation, to offer your condolences to the family first. Remember to introduce yourself if you are not well-known to the family. It is acceptable to talk about the deceased and offer a fond memory or a few kind words about him or her to the grieving family. You may also wish to send flowers to the family. If you order them ahead of time, the florist will deliver your gift directly to the funeral home and it will be on display during visitation hours.

A visitation is often the site of a wide range of emotions. You may see individuals crying, and it is important to not stare and allow them to grieve with dignity. You may also see individuals smiling and hear their laughter as they share happy memories of the deceased. Always remember to sign the guest book with your full name before you leave.

What is a memorial service?
A memorial service is a special service that takes place without the body of the deceased present. Memorials are often held in a church, fraternal hall, or other location. A memorial service can take place just days after the death of a loved one, or even weeks or months, allowing the family to make time for distant relatives to travel or reserve space at a special venue of their choice. A memorial service can even become an annual event if the family chooses.

As cremation has increased in popularity, so has the idea of a memorial service. Often, a memorial service will take place after cremation has occurred. Sometimes the cremated remains will be present in a decorative urn. However, memorial services are not exclusive to cremation–many families will hold a memorial service after burial has taken place. A memorial service can be held in conjunction with other services like a visitation and funeral, or it can be the only service held to honor the life of the deceased.

What should the obituary say?
To learn more about how to write an obituary, refer to this article from our partners at Tributes.com.

What if I still need support after the funeral is over?
The grieving process does not end just because funeral services have concluded. There are many resources available to you on our website. Click here to visit our grief support section. You may also call the funeral home staff. We can refer you to local grief counselors, support groups, and other resources that will help you cope with your grief. Remember, effects of grief can be both emotional and physical, and every individual grieves in his or her own way. Never hesitate to ask for help. We are here to serve you.

What is Cremation?

Cremation is a process by which the body is reduced to its basic elements, bone fragments. The cremation process usually includes mechanically pulverizing the bone fragments, with the final result being a quantity of cremated remains.

Cremation is not a final disposition process. It is another step in the memorialization process. After cremation takes place, families must make a choice for the final disposition of cremated remains. Final disposition options include placing the cremated remains in a decorative urn to be displayed in the home or in a niche or columbarium, burying the cremated remains in the family’s preferred cemetery, or scattering the cremated remains.

Does my religion allow cremation?
Most religions today accept the practice of cremation, with the exception of Orthodox Judaism and Islam. In some traditions, such as Hinduism, it is the preferred method of disposition. If you aren’t sure whether cremation is acceptable in your own religious tradition, the funeral home staff would be happy to help you find the answer to this question.

Are traditional services and cremation services different?
No, they don’t have to be. If your preference is cremation, you may be surprised to learn that choosing cremation does not mean that you cannot also hold traditional services such as a viewing and a funeral. Whether you choose cremation or burial, the same services are available to you, including formal services that include music, prayers and other rites. A viewing with an open casket may precede the cremation. In fact, it is important to still hold some kind of special service to assist the bereaved in the grieving process.

It is important to remember that the cremation process is not an end in itself. As cremation grows in popularity, so does the memorial service–a special service that takes place after cremation has occurred. The body is not present during a memorial service, but the cremated remains in a decorative urn could be included. A memorial service allows family and friends to come together to remember the deceased, just as a visitation does.

Can I have a funeral if I choose cremation?
Absolutely. Choosing cremation does not limit the types of services you may choose. If you choose to have a visitation/viewing or a funeral, the cremation process will take place after these ceremonies have concluded. You can choose to have an open casket at the funeral. Nearly every wooden casket can be cremated, and we offer several attractive wooden caskets that are designed specifically for cremation. Ask your funeral director to see a selection of cremation caskets from which to choose.

Can I plan for cremation in advance?
Yes. For more information about planning a funeral in advance, please visit our Pre-Arrangement section.

Is embalming required?
No. However, most states insist on embalming under certain circumstances such as when the death is caused by a contagious disease or if final disposition isn’t made within a certain time frame. Embalming preserves the body, often allowing more time for arrangements. It is required if there will be a visitation. If the deceased is to be directly buried or cremated, embalming is not necessary.

Is a casket required?
Most crematories require that the body be encased in a combustible, rigid container. Any wood casket will satisfy this requirement. Some wood caskets are designed specifically for cremation. You can also choose to use alternative containers of cardboard, particle board, etc. Generally speaking, a cremation container must be strong enough to assure the safety of the crematory operator as well as provide proper covering and meet reasonable standards of respect and dignity of the deceased. Ask your funeral director what options are available.

How can we personalize a cremation?
Even if your preference is cremation, you can choose to hold many different types of services–a visitation, funeral service, witness cremation, graveside service, or a memorial service. Any of these can be personalized in a number of ways. Each ceremony should be as unique as the life being celebrated. Ideas for a special service are always welcome in our funeral home.

Many families add a personal touch to funeral services by incorporating memorabilia that represent a loved one’s hobbies or passions. For the avid sports fan, a few of his or her collector’s items could be displayed. For the artist, a display of recent works or even the artist’s tools can provide a personal touch. Some families take it a step further, such as providing homemade chocolate chip cookies for funeral attendees who knew the deceased as a skilled cook. These unique touches can help family and friends remember the deceased’s personality and relive the traditions that meant so much. Photo albums and memorial tribute DVDs are also great ways to remember the past.

Personalized merchandise is also popular. Some caskets include interchangeable corners, and you may choose corners that represent the life of your loved one. Caskets can also be personalized with an embroidered panel. Cremation urns and keepsakes can be engraved. The funeral home also offers a wide variety of other merchandise such as keepsake jewelry and stationery products that can reflect the life of your loved one.

Today, it is becoming more popular to hold unique services outside of the funeral home. This is especially true for families choosing cremation. After the cremation takes place, memorial services can take place nearly anywhere–in your home, in a local park, or even at a sporting event. Many families who opt to scatter their loved one’s cremated remains will hold a special scattering ceremony. We can help you organize these types of services. A funeral director is also an event planner. Whatever your preferences or ideas may be, we can work to help you create a memorable and meaningful tribute.

How can we be sure that we receive the correct cremated remains back?
Many families are concerned that they will not receive the correct cremated remains back from the crematory. This stress arises from the simple fact that cremation is an irreversible process, and cremation destroys all DNA evidence in the remains. To ease your conerns, our crematory places the utmost importance on our identification process. This ensures that you will receive the cremated remains of your loved one. Some crematories offer the ability to witness the body being placed in the cremation chamber. This can help ease anxieties about whose remains are returned to the family. If you are concerned, ask your funeral director for more information.

Can we take cremated remains on a plane?
Yes, you can carry cremated remains with you on an airline. Some airlines do not accept cremated remains as checked luggage. You must contact the airline directly to verify this. If you plan to transport an urn as a carry-on item, the urn must be able to pass through the x-ray scanner. You’ll also need to carry proper documentation with you (certified death certificate, certificate of cremation, etc.). If the urn cannot be scanned, it will not be permitted on the flight. Under no circumstances will a TSA employee open an urn to inspect its contents, even if the family insists. Click here for the TSA’s official guidelines regarding the transport of cremated remains.